


Feeling's

by d3athth3kid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comforting Lucifer, Comforting Sam, Female Reader, Mentions Of Feelings, Mentions of Suicide, Other, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, comforting cas, gender neutral reader, male reader - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 14:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11876739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d3athth3kid/pseuds/d3athth3kid
Summary: We each experience life differently, this is a different take on how feeling's affect someone's life.Reader-insert, you.





	Feeling's

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: mentions of suicide.
> 
> I do not own any of these characters.

At times you wish you could FEEL. That those feelings of love, joy, caring and sadness would resurface, but so far it's only been anger. Then there were days like today.

You had been notified by the police that your best friend had committed suicide, you were thankful you couldn't feel the pain you knew your heart was baring, your eyes on the other hand, they understood, it was as if all the despair your heart held was being shed through your tear soaked e/c eyes.

You understood crying showed weakness, but you couldn't convince your body to agree. It was something you had no control over and you didn't want anyone to know, so you hid in your room. You knew Sam wouldn't look down on you, but Dean had always said 'Hunter's don't cry,' so why should you?

\----

You'd been laying in your room, curled in the fetal position on your queen sized bed for a couple of hours before you heard the distinct flutter of wings, signifying an angels presence, "Y/n, are you alright?" Came the deep, yet soft voice of Castiel, when you didn't reply he walked closer and perched himself on the edge of your bed, "I can feel it Y/n, your sorrow, but I don't understand why."

As his words registered in your mind you turned, face blank as it always was -the boys called it your resting face,- as tears trickled from your eyes. "What does it feel like Cas?" He tilted his head at you in confusing so you continued, "I can't feel it, I can't feel the pain, but my body won't stop producing tears. What does it feel like Cas?" He inclines his head, still not fully understanding your words, but tries anyway, "It.. it feels sorrowful, as if my grace has been ripped from my vessel. It's very unpleasant." You nod and scoot closer to his prone form, "Here, look through the memories attached to that feeling, It'll give you context." He curtly nods before placing two fingers to your forehead and closing his brilliant blue eyes.

It doesn't take long before a pained expression forms on his face. "Oh, you cared dearly for them. I am sorry for your loss."

You give a small smile, one that doesn't quite reach your pale e/c orbs. "Thank you. I know I cared for them, but I can't FEEL it, I just know it hurts, physically hurts, like a knife has been shoved into my chest and twisted..but I can't..I can't explain why. Y/b/f/n, s/he was the most important person in my life, aside from those I met hunting, s/he's the only one I still kept in contact with.. and now... S/he's gone, and I don't know how to deal with it."

Cas gives a pain'd look, -not because of his actions, but because he doesn't know how to comfort- before delicately placing a callused hand on your thigh. "I am sorry, Y/n. Would you like it if I stayed?"

You give a soft smile, this time allowing it to reach your eyes before nodding. "Is it okay if..." you take a breath, rethinking the words before starting again, "Cas will you lay with me?"

His eyes widen slightly, cheeks tinging pink and posture becoming more ridged than you ever though possible, but he nods. You give a cheeky smile, trying to lighten the mood, all the while your eyes continue to shed pain'd tears.

You scoot back till your head reaches the pillow and beckon Cas to follow you, he politely stands, removes his trench coat, suit jacket and shoes before joining you on the bed, he lays flat on his back, head directed at the ceiling and you meld your body to his side, one leg tucked snuggly between his, head resting just below his shoulder and palm splayed across his chest. You can feel his body go rigid, but figure It's because he's never been touched like this before so you brush it off, eyes still trickling tears.

You feel Cas' body relax, about the time yours goes slack, Cas wraps his arm around your back, resting it on your hip, when you look up, his head is tilted in your direction, cheeks a deep red, you give a soft smile and close your eyes, tears finally dried for now, and allow sleep to take you.

\-------

When you wake a few hours later, your body's still curled around Cas', you look up and realize he's staring at you, eerie blue eyes boring into your's. "Something wrong, Cas?" your voice comes out raw, still laden with sleep.

He gives a shrug one so close to human it reminds you of Dean, "I believe Sam and Dean are worried about you, Y/n. They both came knocking, in search of you, but I sent them away. They know about your friend's death and they would like to comfort you. Why have you not spoken with them?' His deep timber is laden with worry.

You close your eyes, willing them not to water as you pull yourself from Cas' soft grip, he allows you to roll away, but his eyes follow your every movement, when you finally stop your perched on the edge of the bed, legs hanging off and face resting in your hands, "Y/n?" You shake your head, feeling the bed shift before Cas is sitting next to your side, eyes continuing to bore into your pale flesh.

"Stop giving me that look, Cas." You know your voice is muffled, but you can't bring yourself to care, you know he's an angel and he could read your thoughts, so you have no idea why he seem's so puzzled by your actions. He only responds with a quizzical sound, which causes you to peer up at him through your tear soaked fingers. His face is contorted in confusion, brows drawn together creating a small valley of wrinkles and eeily blue eyes tinged with worry. "I do not understand why you have not spoken to them, they are more family to you then your relatives ever were. They care so much for you, they would understand your pain more than I."

Your brows draw together in anger as your hands fall from your face, fingers curled into fists by your sides. "Your right about them being my family, but your also wrong Cas, you can FEEL the pain I should be. They wouldn't understand! I CAN'T feel it Cas! What if they think something is wrong with me, what if they wouldn't let me hunt with them anymore, what if they got rid of me because I can't feel?!" Your anger flairs and you stand, fists squeezed tight as you try to control the hatred coursing through your veins, It's not directed at Cas, Sam or Dean, but at yourself. You know something is wrong but you can't fix it, you can't feel the pain, and you have this sick feeling that Sam and Dean, -your only family- would push you away if they ever knew.

You hear the fluttering of wings and feel the loss of Cas' presence and this pushes you over the edge. Your first anger filled action is to slam your fist as hard as possible into the wall, you know it won't budge, buy you couldn't care less. You slam your fists over and over and over again till the cement is covered in blood and you can't move your fingers any longer, that's when you feel strong arms wrap around your body and drag you against a firm chest. Voices then fill the room, "What the hell is this, Cas?" followed closely by, "Stop it Dean, can't you see she's in pain? Cas, can you heal her?" A small smile flitters across your lips at the prospect of Sam still caring, but you don't want them seeing you like this so you struggle in his grip, "Let me go!" you holler, voice ragged as blood seeps from your broken hands, It's Cas' voice that fills the room next, "Y/n, I'm going to heal the damage, please be still." His deep timber is so soothing your muscles loosen slightly and the struggle bleeds from your body, a small "Cas." falls from your lips as you slump against Sam's firm body then everything goes black.

\------

The next time you wake up, there isn't a warm body laying next to yours, but you can feel a dip in the bed and four distinct voices, two sound angry while the other two sound saddened. A small groan slips from your lips and you roll over trying to hide from the now prying eyes, that's when you feel the weight of a hand on your shoulder and Lucifer's voice filling your ears, "Y/n, me dear, why didn't you speak with me? There is nothing wrong with you." You sniffle, because your angel would never lie to you, he never has, but you can't bring yourself to believe him.

"W-what if it made you hate me?" your voice is so quiet Luci is the only one to hear the words tumble from your chapped lips. "Oh, sweetheart. You know that will never happen. I'm here to protect you, I could never hate you, and neither could those sniveling Winchesters." You faintly here two matching protests but his words cause a small giggle to form in your throat, you've always adored how he speaks about Sam and Dean, he know's how you care for them so he mess' with them but never hurts them.

"B-but Luce, I can't feel...It's all just anger." You can hear him breath deeply -knowing he only does it for your comfort,- by your side, before he speaks, "You know I'd do anything for you Y/n, your my sweet little human, and these things, these feeling's your so concerned with don't matter. As long as your you, we don't care." You can hear Sam, Dean and Castiel agree from different points around your room before three more hands land on your body, Cas by your other side, hand tangling in your hair, Sam and Dean near your feet, a hand each resting comfortingly on your legs.

It's Sam who breaks the silence first, "It doesn't matter what emotions you feel Y/n, we're here for you, your like our little sister and we love you." Dean chimes in with a "Listen to Sammy, he know's what he's talking about." Causing Sam to make an indignant noise before you hear a thud and Dean groan from the floor. You giggle again and turn your head into Cas' soothing touch. "Promise guys?" Your words are meant for all of them, and you receive four matching 'Promises' before you pull yourself into a sitting position and look from one man to the next "Thank you, all of you."

You scoot from the bed, giving Lucifer a tight hug before moving to Dean, then Sam and finally stopping in front of Cas, you first notice a strange expression adorning his face before you see the blush, it matches the one you wake to earlier in the day. "Cas?" He gives a startles smile before pulling you into a soothing embrace, that's when you here Lucifer's chuckle, you turn slightly in Cas' arms, just enough to seek out Luce's cackling form before giving him a confused expression, "Seem's like my little brother want's to help you with those emotions, Y/n." He gives a seductive wink before the flutter of wings and echoing sound of thunder alert you to his departure.

Your brows draw together and you pull back enough to look into Cas' startled eyes, "What was Luce talkin' about, Cas?" His blush grows deeper, but he responds. "I..I care for you Y/n, and have for a while now, but I did not know how to breach the subject.." His husky timber trails off as his eyes wander from your's, the blush seemingly growing darker.

"Oh." Is all your frazzled mind can come up with. You draw one of your hands from around his waist and tilt his head towards you, "What exactly are you saying Cas?"  
The silence stretches till Dean's voice cuts through the silence, "He's been in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you N/n. Give him a chance." By the end of the sentence Dean has walked out, Sam following behind him with a, "Took him long enough." rolling off his lips.

You smile up at him, one that reaches your eyes and makes them sparkle. "Oh, Cas. M-maybe, you can help, like Luci said." Now it's your turn to blush.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. kudoes and comments are love <3
> 
> Sorry for any errors I do not hve a BETA.


End file.
